Tapestry 2010 Fall Conference

General Session

Keys to Success for Healthy Adoptive & Foster Families

What do parents need to know and understand about themselves and their children as they journey through the adoption or foster care experience? How can parents evaluate whether they are successful? Jayne Schooler will highlight four keys to successful adoptive and foster parenting that are within reach for every family.

Session 1 Breakouts

What Did You Expect?: Examining Your Expectations to Meet the Needs of Your Child

When someone enters a new experience, they bring with them a whole set of expectations. This is true for adoptive and foster parents as well. But children in adoptive and foster families also bring with them an “invisible suitcase” full of needs and challenges. This session will look at the role of parental expectations and the needs and challenges of adopted and foster children. The session will also provide parents with strategies to manage both more effectively.

Adoption Myths and Realities

People often encounter many different myths as they explore adoption and begin the process. This session will deal openly and honestly with many of the common myths – issues such as wait times, attachment, friends and family, birth parents, finances and much more. This session is designed specifically for those who are trying to decide which adoption path to travel as well as those who still have tough, unanswered questions and concerns.

Making Sense of It All: Helping Adopted Children Understand Who They Are

As adopted children reach the pre-teen and teen years, they often encounter a range of feelings, emotions and questions – some related to adoption, and others that are just part of growing up. In this session, Amy Curtis, herself an adoptee, will share insights and skills to help parents better understand and connect with their child leading up to and during the pivotal adolescent years.

What’s Missing?: Helping Single Adoptive and Foster Parents Provide Everything That’s Needed

Single parents can find it challenging to provide their children with everything that’s needed, and this challenge is often increased when adoption or foster care is involved. This session, led by two experienced adoptive and foster single parents, will focus on some of the challenges encountered by single adoptive and foster parents and will provide practical insights and advice to help singles better meet their children’s needs.

Fueled Up or Burned Out

Providing the nurture, care and guidance for children who come from difficult and traumatic backgrounds can be a challenging task for foster parents. Providing the environment and opportunities for healing can be even more difficult. In this session, Al Blankenship will guide foster parents in identifying ways to refresh, recharge and refuel so that they can burn brighter and stronger, and not burn out.

Session 2 Breakouts

Practical Realities of Connecting While Correcting

Adoptive and foster parents realize that connection is essential to help their children develop trust, heal, and grow. But they know that correction (i.e., discipline) is also important. This session will focus on practical insights and strategies for parents who want to better understand the “how and why” of connecting and correcting. Using a variety of everyday situations for parents of children of all ages, this session will illustrate the principles and strategies developed and taught by Dr. Karyn Purvis, co-author of The Connected Child.

Learning to Parent Again

Parenting adopted and foster children in many ways requires a unique understanding, perspective, and approach. It often requires parents to “un-learn” much of what they already know and how they have previously parented. In this session, Paula St. John will help parents better understand some of the unique differences and challenges that come with parenting “children from hard places,” and will focus on helping parents “put down” their existing mindset and approach in order to “pick up” an approach that will yield greater healing, growth, and connection.

Do As I Say, Not As I Did

We often learn best from mistakes – preferably someone else’s mistakes. This session will feature a panel of experienced adoptive and foster parents that will share openly and honestly about the mistakes they have made along the way, what they have done to change and what they have learned as a result.

Understanding the Connection Between Sensory Processing and Difficult Behaviors

Often the sensory processing systems of adopted and foster children are impacted by their histories. As a result, parents must be particularly educated and insightful about the role that sensory processing plays in their child’s life and behaviors. This session will explore the connection that can exist between sensory processing deficits and difficult behaviors, and how parents can more effectively identify, understand and respond to their child’s sensory-driven behaviors.

Loving Well in the Face of Loss: Preparing Foster Families for When a Child Leaves

Being a foster parent is filled with many joys, but it can also involve loss and heartache – especially when a placement leaves. When foster placements return home or move to another home it impacts everyone, including the foster child, foster parents, and other children in the home. This session will explore how foster parents can ‘love well’ even in the face of this loss, and how they can discover purpose and joy during this time. The session will focus on practical strategies to help prepare and support everyone that is impacted when a foster child leaves, and to recognize how God is at work.

Session 3 Breakouts

Sooner Than You Think: Equipping Adoptive Parents with Simple Answers to Challenging Questions About Sex and Reproduction

Most parents feel ill-equipped to answer questions from their child about sex and reproduction. This is especially true for many adoptive parents. And yet being able to talk clearly and confidently with your child about these important topics is particularly important for adoptive parents. In this session, Mary Flo Ridley will provide adoptive parents with the understanding and skills they need to help shape the sexual character of their children.

From the Valley to the Mountain Top: Finding Hope and Help in Crisis

Many families find themselves in the “valley of crisis” as a result of their adopted or foster child’s behaviors. In this session, veteran adoptive parents Deb and Alan Jones, will share from their experience how parents can best prepare for the challenge of difficult behaviors. By focusing on practical tools and strategies for parents (with an emphasis on “older” kids), this session will point parents toward the hope and help needed to begin the climb out of the valley and move toward a more joyful and successful future.

The Practical Gospel: Re-Discovering Our Call to the Adoption or Foster Care Journey

Is the Gospel at odds with becoming prepared and equipped for the adoption or foster care journey? Does learning and seeking help in any way diminish the role of the Gospel in this journey? This session will offer a unique and insightful look at what it means to travel the adoption and foster care journey in light of and motivated by the Gospel. This session will focus on how the Gospel is made real, practical and “fully alive” as we follow God on this journey.

Opening Up About Open Adoption

As a result of more and more open adoptions and a growing body of research studying its impact, parents today know more than ever before about open adoption. In this session, Cathy Sones will talk honestly about open adoption – what it is, what it is not, how it is changing and what we are learning about the impact of open adoption for everyone involved.

Moving from Checklists to Reality

New foster and adoptive parents often overlook or dismiss critical information about the foster and adoption experience. In this session, Ira and Valerie Kirkley use their own experience as foster and adoptive parents to highlight important details that parents and parents-to-be cannot afford to overlook or disregard – and they will also focus on some aspects of being a foster or adoptive family for which no level of planning can prepare you.

Lunch Breakouts

(No need to register for these)

What’s Next?: Stories from Families Serving Orphans and At-Risk Children in Ways Other Than Adoption & Foster Care

Making Sense of the Cost of Adoption

Whatcha Reading? A Survey of Helpful Adoption and Foster Care Books for Adults and Children

Adoptee Track Breakouts

Session 1 – Beyond Reality TV: The Truths Behind Search and Reunion

Those in the adoption community have either seen or heard about the reality TV shows that tend to glamorize the complex aspects of adoption search and reunion. Have you ever wondered why none of those shows are in syndication or production today? The reality, far removed from the hype of Hollywood, is that adoption search and reunion is an intricate journey for a triad member to embark on with many unique issues to consider before and long after a search is started. In this session, Melanie Chung-Sherman and Heather Ellis will focus on dispelling myths and assumptions that often persist when adoptees enter the search process. They will examine the motivations behind a search and offer insights for preparing for real reactions to real people involved with search — not just the fantasy. Open to adoptees age 18 and older only.

Session 2 – Beyond Reality TV: The Truths Behind Search and Reunion

This session will feature a panel of adoptees and birth parents who will share their experiences and how they have been impacted by search and reunion. Open to adoptees age 18 and older only.

Session 3 – Beyond Reality TV: The Truths Behind Search and Reunion

This session will center around a facilitated discussion among adoptees about the myths and realities of search and reunion. Open to adoptees age 18 and older only.